“Technology is a privilege, not a right,” social media expert Paul Davis tells parents
This is excellent advice for parents but in many ways it’s just the tip of the iceberg. I completely agree with Davis’ advice to keep technology out of your kids’ bedrooms and I commend him for talking about it. I have to say however that parents need to go much further than that.
How many of your child’s favorite TV characters can you name? What do you know about the behaviors that those characters are modeling? Their language? Their attitudes and beliefs? Media can be a strong influence on children. If neither parent is closely monitoring what the kid is reading, watching, listening to, or playing (yes even video games need to be monitored) then your child may be getting some seriously unhealthy messages and you won’t even know what they are.
It’s easy to think that because something looks like it’s meant for kids it must be okay for them to watch. The trouble is that even the most well-meaning producers of kid’s media are typically unaware of how their work will be interpreted by children. This problem is not unique to media. It is ubiquitous in our society but for now I’ll focus on media. I’ll touch on two examples.
When my son was very small he took a liking to a cartoon about a baby duck named Tilley. The show was clearly aimed at very young children and it seemed to focus on teaching them animal sounds. Every episode featured the same motif that would repeat multiple times throughout the video. Tilley is playing in the living room; there is a knock at the door; Tilley says “Who is it?”; Someone answers with and animal sound (lets’ say moo); Tilley says, “That must be my friend cow.”; and opens the door. Not once does the baby duck ever get and adult to see who is at the door. Not only dos the duck not look out the peephole before opening the door but there isn’t even a peephole in the door. You can tell your child not to open the door to strangers but if he/she has just spent the past two hours watching Tilley open the door for every weirdo who grunts, growls, or barks, you are fighting an uphill battle.
Another example is a video that I only let my son watch once. When he asked to see it again I told him it was broken. He threw quite a tantrum but I stuck to my story. The video was called All About Trucks. It featured two children (approximately 8 – 10 years old) walking around the parking lot of a truck stop with now adult supervision. They meet some strange man who calls himself Hard Hat Harry and claims to be a Genie. He does a couple of magic tricks and in no time at all the kids are following him everywhere. At one point Harry is in the driver’s seat of a truck with one of the kids sitting on his lap and the other hanging over his back. Then one of the kids notices the sleeping berth and asks about it. Harry snaps his fingers and all three of them are lying in the bed together. Do you really want your kids thinking this behavior is okay?
I’m certainly not saying that you need to ban every video that is less-than-perfect but if you don’t know what they’re watching you can’t even have a conversation with them about it. Please get involved with your children’s media choices. Watch their shows. Play their games. Listen to their music. Not only will you be able to protect them better but you’ll improve your relationship with them as well.
“It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.” ― Frederick Douglass